it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
