wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
