so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
