OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
