The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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