when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
