She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
