I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
