I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i out mim tonsoeep
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