so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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