I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
