the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
