He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
