that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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