just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
