Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
