dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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