so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
