I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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