isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize