I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
