You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
