There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
