I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
