now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
