Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
