I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
