$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
