Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
