my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
