He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize