Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
