I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
