oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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