i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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