I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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