whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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