The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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