Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
