i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think my moral compass just broke
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
