Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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