She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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