There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
