we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this will be a night to untag.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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