I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
