is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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