BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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