WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hippo gnu deer
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Couch. On fire.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
