YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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