porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
