Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
