I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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