You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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