...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
