We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
