After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
