I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize