Do vagina's smell?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
