i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
