it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize