i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
