Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
