I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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